areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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