you guys were way drunker than both of me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
