I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your cock deserves a montage
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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