so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
