If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
