ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
