you traded sex for a burrito?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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