When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
