u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
