You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize