i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize