the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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