I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
