You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I forget how to act sober
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
