she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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