NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
