You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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