I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
