Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
