im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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