Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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