I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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