What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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