You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
