so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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