Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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