Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
