Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
