So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
