im about as happy as oj after his trial
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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