What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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