another moral hangover. fuck.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
