just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
