I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
