I molested 6 butterflies tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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