This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
