So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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