i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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