She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
