i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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