hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
