You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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