You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
