you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I supernannyed him into submission
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
