So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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