shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
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