if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
