Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
