I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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