I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
