i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i permit you to call me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Terrible idea I love it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
