you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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