Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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