I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
