Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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