It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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