i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
