he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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