I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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